I will pray for you

I will pray for you.

The words seemingly come from a kind place.

But upon deeper reflection, what do those words truly imply?

During a gathering with a church group when everyone was singing and praying, one person came up to pray for me.

I was playing the keyboards at that time, and continued playing the repeating chord progressions, as they laid their hand on my shoulder and earnestly prayed over me.

They prayed that God will speak to me... prayed that God sees all the hurt and pain I must have gone through... that people are imperfect but God's love is always perfect... they prayed that God will use that pain to show me His ways... that I will feel His love and that God will bring me back to Him again.

I was touched by his sincerity and earnestness.

People rarely speak directly to me about what they truly think of what I'm going through.

But this person's prayer revealed more about themselves and their beliefs.

The belief that the only reason anyone would leave their Christian faith is because they had somehow been 'hurt'... by people or circumstances.

Once the hurt was addressed, all would be well and they will come back into the fold once again.

It could imply that one cannot be in the right mind if they decided to leave their faith... that somehow, one's judgement must be clouded by this emotional injury.

It could also imply that the 'right' answer should always eventually lead to returning to God.

---

A few months later, a couple from the church leadership team invited my husband and I out for dinner to chat about my decision to leave the church.

At the outset, they seemed to listen attentively and ask curious questions about what led to my decision.

Then when it came to their turn to respond, it all seemed to miss the mark. It seemed like they were listening not to truly understand, but simply to 'preach'.

They shared stories and examples of other people they knew who had backslidden and eventually came back to rededicated their life to God. It was simply a series of stereotypical characterisations of backslidden individuals. They were either unloved, hurt, depressed, or disappointed by others, or too dogmatic, or did not really 'know' the love of God in the truest sense.

And after going a few rounds on this same thread without getting the 'right' response from me, the closing remarks were the classic "I will pray for you".

It almost feels passive aggressive.

I will pray for you.

Looks like I'm not getting through to you, so I will ask God deal with you then.

The whole interaction feels one directional.

There's no two-way conversation happening here. 

I have been on both sides.

I just wish that for one tiny fraction of a moment, they might step outside of their own worldview and see how things look from the outside.